Saturday, September 10, 2011


So this is a new one folks. And I'll give you a heads up now, this is about to get pretty gross.

Still here? Ok, get ready... So over a week ago there was a day where I had been up at the rental house most of the day, and my husband had been home watching Little M. I had heard from my husband earlier in the afternoon, and basically the conversation was about how our oldest dog ('my' dog), Tia, had puked three times on the sunporch, and he wasn't really interested in cleaning it up (he doesn't deal well with dog poop, so I wasn't overly surprised to hear this). I wasn't too impressed that I was working hard at the (his) rental, and yet he didn't want to deal with the mess at home, but I tried to let it go. I figured either I would have some puddles to clean up when I got home, or I wouldn't, not too big of a deal.

I didn't think much more about it, so when I got out of my car after parking it in the garage, and noticed some garbage underfoot that hadn't been there when I left earlier, at first I didn't put the pieces together. Then it hit me. Hmmm... garbage in new spots in the garage (we keep the garbage bags piled between the 2 vehicle parking spots in the garage between dump trips), dog puking... awesome.

I knew that obviously my husband had for some reason had the garage open for a portion of the day (which we try not to do so as to keep things like birds, mice, and clearly dogs out of the building). He obviously also let the dogs out and didn't keep close enough eye on at least Tia, and she must have gotten into the garbage, enough so that she was then sick. Great...

So I go inside, and the house is looking very clean. He admits that he cleaned up the house because he wasn't able to make it through more than one of the three puke puddles on the sunporch without almost puking himself. Ok, so I'm thinking, whatever, I wasn't really expecting him to manage to clean them up anyway (you would think he would be able to deal better with gross stuff, seeing as he hunts and has no problem gutting birds and all, but nope, dog poop does him every time, and so, apparently, does dog puke!). I went out to the sunporch, and right away the smell was really bad. Eww! I got some paper towels and old rags and started mopping the puddles/piles up. And then I realized how bad it really was.

There were maggots crawling around in the puke. I mean seriously, my dog got into some really nasty garbage, that had obviously been in the garage long enough to seriously decompose, and have maggots crawling through it, and she ate it. And ate enough to make her sick enough to throw up. This from the dog who has been known to turn around and eat her own still steaming poop, and let me tell you, after the same poop gets eaten several times, then it doesn't come out as poop. Nope, it comes out as puke. And sometimes even projectile puke... Yup.

So needless to say, I've cleaned some pretty gross puke from this dog before... She actually got the nickname 'shitpuke' at a research station I lived at one summer for work... And it was a literal nickname - because she puked shit up. Anyone ever smelled twice-or-three-times-eaten poop in vomit before? It's pretty characteristic... Yeah. And I can't forget to mention that I worked for a summer as a maintenance worker in a provincial park, and some of the things I had to clean in the outhouses/comfort stations, especially after a long weekend, were pretty nasty. I mean, seriously people, if you have an accident in your underwear, by all means don't leave the soiled underwear and the other evidence of the accident smeared all over the stall... But anyway...

So to admit that this maggot filled vomit tops the list of disgusting things I have cleaned, well, it really was disgusting. I mean the maggots were crawling around in the liquid. And the liquid drained to one side of the sunporch and dripped down through the crack into the crawlspace. Although it isn't like the sunporch was all that clean to start with, after all, we had to rip the old subfloor up because it was so soaked and stained with urine and feces from previous occupants of the house... But still. When we put that plywood down until we decided what to lay as the permanent floor out there, we were trying to get it clean once and for all... Oh well!

So I'll (finally) get to the point. Flies. You know when you have maggots, you end up with flies, right? Well I was gone most of last week, and since I got home yesterday, I have noticed a lot of small little flies, almost black-fly sized, on the sunporch. It took me until this afternoon to put it together, but I am betting those flies are from the maggots. Yup, I put the dirty rags and paper towels in the garbage can on the sunporch, but the garbage bag didn't end up going out to the garage until yesterday.  I am normally more on the ball with gross things like that, but in my defense, the rags from my husband's attempt at cleaning up the puke were still outside on the ground when I left... He finally had put them in the garbage like I asked shortly after I realized he had dumped them outside instead of in the garbage can, but he hadn't taken the bag across to the garage... So now there are a bunch of little flies that are attracted to the dogs food dishes, and if I'm not careful, they might end up in the house... Oh geez... And I thought maggoty puke on the sunporch was irritating! :)


  1. I 'may have' laughed out loud at the "ShitPuke" comment. At least she cleans up after herself?


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